Loony Mutes
by Push Me
Summary: Suck at summeries. Basically insane attempt at Loony toons knock-off with Logan as Bugs, Pietro as Roadrunner, Pyro in a cute little Martian Outfit. Awwwww! R&R Rating change. Sorry.
1. Logan Bunny Awwww!

**Disclaimer: **Yeah right. I own x-men and Looney Toons Yet I sit here writing for free:(

**Jamie: **Come on people! Hold Logan Down if you have to just get the costume on him!

_(Scream of anguish in the background and then the sounds of claws on flesh and a body hitting the floor.)_

**Jamie: **Oh, just do without Scott! Scrape his body up though! We're going into the first scene! And where the hell is Magneto?

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**Logan bunny: Eric Fudd**

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_(Camera pans in to typical forest scene and we see a rabbit hole in the centre of a clearing, and Logan with bunny ears and a cute bunny tale.)_

**Logan: **Why? Why me? Have you ever seen a rabbit with adamantium claws? Well have you?

_(Logan manages a smile at the camera and bites the lid off a beer bottle, and chews on it)_

**Logan:** I'm not saying it! Never, Never, Never!

_(We hear an adamantium drill off camera, directed in Logan's general direction)_

**Logan: **_(Strained) _What's...up... Bub?

_(Logan breaks down in tears as the camera pans to a nearby location. We see Magneto being ushered on screen wearing a huge hunter hat, __carrying a shotgun. He tiptoes forward and looks at the camera)_

**Magneto: **Be very, very quiet. I'm hunting X-Men... I am not laughing like this fool! Yes, I know we're on, but I don't care. I refuse to do the laugh.

_( He tiptoes forward again, and to add to the stealth, let's throw in his creepy X-Men: Evolution Theme Tune.)_

**Magneto: **Look! Woga... Logan tracks! Curse this imbosiles primative voice...

_(He follows the boot ridge tracks to a hole in the ground. Logan sticks his head out of the hole)_

**Magneto: **Ahh, Wolverine. Living in a hole now, are we? How the mighty have fallen.

**SNIKT! **

**Logan: **Six reasons for you to walk away, Bub!

**Jamie:(Offstage) **Script! We didn't lock Push Me up in a room for three weeks, just for you to disobey him!

**Push Me:(Offstage) **I was a human being once! sniff...sniff .

**Logan:** Ennnhhhh! What's...up...Bub?

**Jamie:(Offstage) **That didn't kill you did it?

**Logan: **_(Shakes head sadly) _Not on the outside, kid... Not on the outside...

**Magneto: **Moving swiftly on... Hands up, you scwewy X-Man!

_(Points the shotgun at Logan's chest. Logan leans on the end of the barrel, still chewing on the bottle lid, although a small trickle of blood is _

_slipping out of the corner of his mouth.)_

**Logan: **You aen't goin' te shoot me, are ya bub?

_(Magneto looks confused momentairily)_

**Magneto: **Well...actually... yes, I am a hunter. And this is my gun. Why not?

**Logan: **Well you can't just go round shootin X-Men with the wrong gun? That's an acolyte gun. Shouldn't you be huntin' acolytes?

_(A certain Aussie walks on with a bemused smile)_

**Pyro:** Yeah... Why are you huntin' with an acolyte gun boss? You aen't huntin' us acolytes are ya?

**Magneto: **No, don't you see it's a trick, he wants you to think that so...

**Gambit: Y**eah, _(Strutts on Bo-Staff in hand)_ Remy don' t'ink he wanna be shot at. Not what you'd ca' fun is it?

**Magneto: **_(Sweating_)Well, no, I don't think it would be fun butt... no! Don't you see?  
He's trying to make us fight so he can escape... where's he gone?

_(We cut to another forest scene with Logan doing the traditional Bugs Bunny Laugh)_

**Logan:** Hahahaha! What a moron! Hahahaha! What a ding bat! What an ultra-maroon!

_(He turns a corner(In a forest? What was I on?) and sees a gun barrel pointed in his face by a rather beaten Magneto)_

**Magneto:** Hands up you scwewy X-Man!

**Logan: **Here goes, MMMMMMWWWWWAAAAAHHHH!

_(He does the oh so loved Bugs bunny kiss and bolts with Magnetostaring after him dreamilybefore following, firing and Logan doing the Bugs Bunny'Jump Bullet'. (Shut Up!You've all seen it!)Logan gains a lead and Magneto arrives at a clearing to see a clear bottle with Logan inside disguised as a Genie.)_

**Logan:** Me Genie of la... bottle. Release me and I shall grant youone wish!

**Magneto: **What the... I'm supposed to fall for that?

**SHINK!**

_(The bottle falls open to reveal Logan claws unsheathed)_

**Logan: **That's it Bub! It's go time! You can diss the claws, and the bunny hole, but NEVER the Genie outfit!

**Magneto: **Why not? It's pathetic! You're pathetic! This whole Fanfic is pathetic! And in my opinion, Push Me is the worst writer eve...

_(Slumps to floor. Jamie cocks tranquiliser gun.)_

**Jamie:** Such a waste. I needed all six tranqs to use when Pyro realised who he's playing. Now we're all dead!

**Logan: **Soooo... I'm free to go?

**Jamie: **Hell no! **Stand In!**

_(Mystique walks onto the set, morphing into Magneto on the way)_

**Logan: **Oh, No!

**Jamie: **Alright, Action!

**Logan: **_(Mumbles about how after the show he's gonna kill everyone who saw him dressed like this) _Oh, right. Ehem... For releasing me, I hereby grant you one  
wish.

**Mystique: **Hmmm...I would like... _(Looks to camera)_ I would like? I would like a trip to Europe! _(Back to Logan) _I would like to have the X-Man. I'm hunting  
X-Men. Ehehehehheh!

**Logan: **Ok, stand back!

_(He stands hands above his head and twitches his nose before bursting into Genie chant)_

**Logan:** IGIDY-AGIDY-OOO-AAA-AAA! ZIGADY-ZAGIDY-OOO-EEE-EEE! OOO-OOO-EEE! EEE-EEE-OOO! IGADY-AGADY-OOOP! He's yours.

**Mystique: O-O.** Never do that again.

_(Lance walks on wearing a bunny costume with cellotaped on claws.)_

**Lance: **Logan? You said Kitty would meet me here!

_("Magneto" points the barell towards Lance)_

**Mystique:**Hands up you Scwewy X-Man!

_(Lance pushes the barell away)_

**Lance:** Two things. One, I'm not an X-Man. You of all people should know that. And two: **Are you afrikin' moron!****He's a frikin' X-Man! Shoot Him!**

**Logan:**_(Enters dressed up as Lance) _Now just a darn minute. How can I be an X-Man, when I don't look like one, and ain't as smart as one? Shoot him foo'

**Lance: **I'm more of an idiot! He's the X-man, **shoot him!**

**Logan:Him!**

**Lance:Him!**

**Logan:Him!**

**Lance:Him!**

**Logan:Me!**

**Lance:Me! Fire!**

**BANG!**

**Lance:** Let's try that again, this time I start! **Him!**

**Logan:Him!**

**Lance:Him!**

**Logan:Me!**

**Lance:Me! Fire!**

**BANG!**

**Lance: **Let's try that, one more time...

**Logan: **OK. **Me!**

**Lance: Me! Fire!**

**BANG!**

**Lance:** _(To Logan)_ You're dispicable. _(To Mystique) _Alright, you got me. Take me in for the reward money now...

**Mystique: G**racious, no! You see, I'm a mutant too, to take you in for the money would be cruel. I just hunt for the sport of it.Ehehehehe!

**Logan: **Oh, yeah? Well there's other sports besides huntin' ya know!

_(Bobby((The REAL Daffy)) prances on in tennis outfit with a racket)_

**Bobby: **Anyone for Tennis?

_(Mystique promptly shoots him dragging a "You're dispicable" from him too.)_

**Jamie: **That's him down 'till the next sketch...

**Logan**_:(To Mystique) _Anyway, It's not even X-Man season, it's Brotherhood season until...

**Lance: **Liar! It's X-Man season.

**Logan:**It's Brotherhood season.

**Lance:** X-Man seaso...

_(Both Mutants glare at "Magneto".)_

_(Hunting Horn sounds)_

**Lance/Logan: **It's acolyte season!

**Mystique: **Uh, Oh...

_(Cut to scene in forest with Mystique running and Logan and Lance tip-toeing after her with guns)_

**Logan: **Be wery,wery quiet. we're hunting acolytes.

**Lance: **Ehehehehe!

_Now you kinda have to picture the end scene coming up with the Merrie Melody's Music and Logan popping out the "That's all Folks" line._

**Jamie: **Aaaand, Cut! Not bad people, just get off and change the set for the next sketch! Wake up Bobby, and see if Pyro's costume's ready yet! This'll be fun!

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**Well 'till next time folks read and review, for the chance to win a tank! _Terms and Conditions apply, may not be actual Tank._**

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	2. Aussie from another world!

**Disclaimer:** Arsenal, Man U, Chelsea... who do I support? **The Winning Team!**

**Sorry for the late update, lot's of factors: Homework, Brother, Sister, You know the drill, So I'll make this chapter special! By the way thanks to my Reviewers: ReddisRose and...Erm...You know who you are!**

**_ReddisRose_:By the way, technically Tom and Jerry isn't a Loony Toons production, but i'll write it if you suggest two suitible characters.  
It was a great idea!**

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**Jamie:** Don't fret, Pyro. You look adorable! _(Looks to camera)_ But not as much as me! _(Push Me would now like to plug how much Push Me loves Jamie. Plug  
Over.)_

**Pyro: **_(Looks down at Marty Martian costume) _I am not going on like this! I look like an idiot!

**Jamie:**What's new? Now get on there and perform, there's a whole two people watching!_ (Points at Reviewers)._

**Pyro:**_(Looks at reviewers and waves. WAVE BACK! DO AS I COMMAND!)_

**Jamie:** Yeah, see. So get on there and act!

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**Bobby Duck-Pyro Martian**

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_(Scene opens on a high-tech room with Bobby walking towards A finger scannerlooking extremely heroic with his chest stuck out.He places his finger on the scanner)_

**Scanner: **Who are You?

_(Bobby ices scanner and smashes the scanner)_

**Bobby:**Bi-atch. Don't no-one want beef wit' Bobby! Nooo!'Specially no punk-ass computer...

**Xavier:** Bobby! _(Professor wheels on and hugs Bobby calming him_) it's Ok. The Scanner is gone now. Sssshhh.

**Bobby:>**sniff...sniff Thank you.

**Xavier:**No problem. Now, why I summoned you here.I summoned you because...because...hold the cue cards closer please. Ah, yes. The Institute is low on "In" clothes and no doubt Kitty will soon be heading to the mall to aquire new clothes. We need you to scout ahead and claim the Area as the X-men's.

**Bobby:**Fear not. I will complete this mission, forI am: _(Camera pans out to massive picture of Bobby standing in front of a glacier with a dramatic pose.)  
_**Bobby****Drake, In the 21st and 5 centuary! **_(Clumsily trips over Prof X leg which he seems to stick out on purpose)_

**Bobby: **You tripped me!

**Xavier: **_(Rolls eyes_) Yes Bobby. I'm so sure a paralysed 50 year old tripped you. Now go! The X-Van awaits!

**Bobby: Y**ou'reDispicable... _(Ice slides off)_

**Xavier: **_(To camera)_ Little does anyone know, I'm not paralysed, just lazy! _(Little Britain spring to mind)_

_(Cut to garage. Bobby gets into X-van, starts the engine and begins to drive off. He is about half-way through the journey when he realises he's lost)_

**Jamie:** _(Holding an Icecream to look cute,His entry is met with a Jerry Springer style cheer and he smiles and poses behind Bobby. Bobby never notices)  
>_Lick Whatcha doin'?

**Bobby:** Whoa! _(Has to jerk steering weel away from oncoming truck, oddly enough, seemed to be heading straight for him)_

**Gambit: **_(In the truck) _Damn! Remy miss...

**Bobby: **Jamie, you scared me! What are you doing here?

**Jamie:**_(Shrug) _Making sure you don't screw up, you screw up!

**Bobby: **Oh no! You're not stealing the spotlight off me this time! _(Swings fist, only to have it hit a forcefield around Jamie) _What the...?

**Jamie: **I know, Push Me gave me scary new powers, so as much as you get blown to hell in this, I don't get a scratch!

**Bobby: **Can you control these powers?

**Jamie: **No. HE gave me them. The guy upstairs.

**Bobby: **God?

**Jamie: **No. Push Me.

_(Please note: Push Me does notwish to cause contraversy, and would like to point out that he is way below God, but higher than You! Thank You!)_

**Jamie: **Anyway you do realise, the mall is the other way?

**Bobby: **Of course I do!

_(One Messy U-turn later they__arrive at the mall and Bobby runs out and sticks a flag in the ground)_

**Bobby: **I claim this area in the name of the X-me...

_( He is cut off as a silver orb flies over his head, the wind knocking him, and his flag, to the ground. pyro steps out, looking like he's gonna kill Push Me, and sort of "Marty Martians'' over to Bobby.((You know the walk! It's the one where you have the strange music in the background!)))_

**Pyro: **_Everyone here's dead. Everyone readin' this Fanfic is dead, and especially Push Me, the bastard..._I mean,_(Sticks flag into ground), _I claim this planet in thename of the Acolytes. Isn't that lovely?_(Looks at Bobby on floor) '_choo doin' down there?

**Bobby:I** fell over, and I'm sorry to say _(looks to camera) _andI mean really sorry! _(back to Pyro)_ that I've already claimed this area and it's not big enough for both of  
us!

**Pyro:**_(Pulls out Disintergration Ray) _Oh, I do believe you are right!

**Bobby: **_(To camera) _Little does he know I'm wearing my disintergration proof vest._(To Pyro) _You may fire when ready!

_(Pyro pulls the trigger and a ray hits Bobby, who disintergrates instantly. The intact vest lies on his ashes. Little Jamie runs out and we clearly see him holding a "Reintergrating Ray." He zaps Bobby who appears again in front of him.)_

**Bobby:** whowhatwhere?_(Sees Jamie) _Oh you, eh? I had him right where I want him, and you interfere. Get back to the van!

_(Jamie gives a mock saluit and returns to the van. Bobby sees Pyro walking back to his orb. He runs up behind him.)_

**Bobby:**Ha! Got the slip on you with my Disintergration Ray! And brother, when it disintergrates, it disintergrates!

_(He pulls the trigger and the gun...well...Disintergrates. Bobby stares at his hand where the gun was.)_

**Bobby: **Well... waddaya know! It... It disintergrated. Pile of cheap crap!

**Pyro:** Actually, Mate. It looks like it was sabotaged.Knowanyonewho would have done that

**Bobby: **JAMIE!

_(We cut to Bobby and Pyro in there respective...Vehicles?No...Modes of transport. Swish! Staring at each other through windows. ((Do thoes orbs have windows?))  
Bobby reaches for a gun marked "Ultimatum sender" and fires it at Pyro.The bulletstops just short of Pyro and splits open to reveal the message:  
**Surrender, or be frozen and  
shattered into 1,362,99743,032  
Ice Shards!**_

_Pyro grabs a gun marked "Ultimatum responder" ((Where do they get this crap?)) and fires it at Bobby. it stops just short of him, opens, andanother bullet comes out and hits Bobby squarely between the eyes. We cut to Pyro as Bobby's respond to the respond arrives.A bullet opens to reveal the word: )  
__ **Ouch!**_

_(We see Bobby tuning a small tv in to the same frequency as the mall security cameras)_

**Bobby: **Now, let's see what the little Aussie is up to.

_(After a lot of Static, we see Pyro appear on camera. He pointsa gun at the camera and fires, the bullet coming out of the Tv camera and hitting him in the face. While Bobby blows a gasket, we see Jamie nonchalauntly walking across the parking lot, with a lit dynamite stick in his hand, wrapped in a ribbon. He knocks on the door and hands it to Pyro.)_

**Jamie: **Happy birthday, youthing from anotherplanet, you. _(He trots off, Ice cream sill intact)_

**Pyro: **Thanks, but Australia isn't actually on another planet. You see...

**BANG!**

_(We cut back to Bobby, still pissed, by the Ultimatum incident.)_

**Bobby: **That's it! The last straw!

_( He runs to a button marked "Really cool explosive stuff" and presses it. A ring of Rockets surrounds Pyro's orb, and we see Pyro run to a button marked"Equally cool Explosive stuff,"and a ring of Fosters surrounds the X-Van.We see both laughing and pressing the "FIRE" button at the same time as each of their weapons explode, and the screen goes black.)_

_(Cut to final scene with Bobby and Pyro, Bruised and cut standing on a tiny fragment of what's left of the mall above a crater. Jamie is fine.)_

**Bobby:** I told youit wasn't big enough for us both, so off you go! _(Pushes him into the crater). _So once again the day is saved by:  
**Bobby****Drake, in the21st and 5, Centuary!**

**Jamie: **Big deal...

_Now picture Merrie Melodies Music and Logan saying"That's all, Bub!"_

**Jamie: **Cut! OK, great show people! Now go see how far Remy took that Truck, we need him for the next scene!

**Bobby: (**_To Pyro)_After all we the pain we went through together, Ijust wanna say: I love you, man.

**Pyro:**Eugh! Gross! You stay away from me mate, or find out what happenswhen you melt an ice-lolly from the inside!  
**_(ANSWERS ON A POSTCARD, PLEASE)_**

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**Next up, Remy LePew chases the wrong chick! Read and review for the chance to win... Erm... Jamie! Yeah, Jamie!**

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	3. Remy lepew

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing... except that assasin behind your head toting a gun... All he  
wants is a hug...

**_Sorry About Mega, Mega Long update... Computers. I typed this in a library, at a friends, at school lunchtimes... oh and by the way for those of you who read my reviews, shaunyboy goes to my school and s an idiot. any cusses for him...Review 'em to me. It ain't abuse cause he started it. E.G. ShaunyBoy is so... he... Get it? Credit goes to best one!_**

**Jamie: **Alright... Did you catch the truck? Good. Remy Ok? Good. My cookie ready?  
No? You're dead!  
_(Gunshot herard, and for the second time this story, Scott drops on the ground dead)_

**Push Me: **Don't I just love Scott?

_(By the way, Yes I am insane. I appear an ordinaryFanfic writer by day, But at night I am... **BATMAN! **I'm also a ferocious liar. I'm lieng now. And now. And...)_

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**Remy Lepew**

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_(Camera pans in on Bayville where everyone is being extremely polite to each other. We see Duncan riding a bike round a corner and sees Remy in an adorable Skunk costume)_

**Duncan: **_(Trying not to laugh) _Ahhh, A skunk!

**Remy:** I'm not a skunk! I'm from New Orleans! It ain't my fault!

**Duncan:**_(Looking around desperatly)_Somebody call the cops! Quick!

**Remy: **_(Terrified) _No! Not the cops! A few weeks ago, Remy got himself shot by a cop bullet, and they say, when the moon is full, those shot by a cop bullet will...will...  
BECOME A COP! _(Starts crying)_

**Duncan: **How does that effect me? POLICE!

_(Duncan runs off, leaving Remy behind. The police hear his call of "N'Orlean!"  
and deploy the one unit they can to disract him. The Kat unit-254. A.K.A: Kitty  
Her annoying voice could bring down Push Me. As much as he loves her...)_

_(Kitty phases through a wall behind Remy, who panics and throws a bottle of white varnish at her, which connects with her hair, leaving two white streaks in her hair.((See where this is going?)) Remy looks up to see "Rogue")_

**Kitty: **Uuuuunnngghhh! This will never come out!

**Remy: **Ohhhhhh, Cheré...

**Kitty: **Cheré? Oh, you mean Rogue, Well I'm Kitty...

**Remy: **Ahhh, playing hard to get cheré? Remy loves that!

**Kitty: **No Gambit! I'm not Rogue, I'm Kitty, and if you take one more step, I'm going  
to Logan, Swamp Rat!

**Remy**_:(Not taking the hint_) AAAHHAAA!

**Kitty**: That doesn't sound good for me...

**Remy**: I know you're my cheré...because only she calls me _Swamp_ Rat!

**Kitty: **Whoops

**Remy: **_(Prances towards her) _C'mon cheré, give Remy a kiss!

_(He grabs her and tries to kiss her, but she phases through his arms and starts to run)_

**Remy: >sigh **Remy loves it when sheborrow powers to play with Remy...

_(He prances like Pépé Lépew and follows her calling out to her)_

**Remy:**_(Sing-Song)_Where are you cheré? Remy is seeking you, and not able to find  
you...

_(Kitty stands behind a corner and as Remy comes round the corner, KERPLUNKS  
him on the head with Lockheed. LockHeed bounces harmlessly to the floor.)_

**Kitty: **Oh, crap!

_(Kitty scrambles behind her for a weapon, and out of a gun, grenade, machete andan apple,guess which one she picks up...)_

**Remy**: Oh good, Remy loves apples. Are you making a peace offering?

_(She throws the apple at him, and it connects with his eyes)_

**Remy: **Ahhh! Remy's gorgeous eyes! It burns! It Burns!

_(Kitty legs down a corridor, with Remy recovering and prancing after her.She runs into a room, locks the door and collapses in an armchair)_

**Remy:**_(Behind her) _Tired already? Cheré...Remy was just warming up!

**Kitty: **Get away from me, you disgusting Pervert!_(Slaps him)_

**Remy: **Remy loves it when you talk dirty...

_(Kitty phases through him, grabbing his heart, and clutches in her hand behind him. Gambit doesn't react)_

**Kitty: **Wha...? You should be dead! This doesn't make sense! Push Me!

_(She calls to the sky. There is a lightning bolt and Push Me appears, complete with Darth Vader outfit and voice implifier)_

**Push Me: **Yes?

**Kitty**_:(Holds up heart, which is stillbeating) _What in the blue, Frozen, Darth Vaderless hell is going on?

**_By the way, Did Anakin Skywalker go to Heaven or Hell? Answers via postcard please..._**

**Push Me**: Is something wrong?

**Kitty**: Okay, from the beggining... WHY is Gambit chasingME? When I have a totally different body shape than Rogue's, so he knows it's me?  
Also, WHY isn't he dieing with me standing here holding his heart? And Finally, WHY are you dressed like that?

**Push Me**: The answer to all the above questions is: Because I want to. And you can't stop me_!  
(Looks at Camera_) Push Me wishes to take a moment of your time to plug the _new Star _Wars Film. PLUG,PLUG,PLUG_!  
(Push Me exits up through the roof of the storyboard)_

**Remy: **_(nonchalantly) _If yous not usin that cheré, can Remy have that back? He needs it to love you...

**Kitty: **Ewwww... No way!

_(Throws it in a blender...Which just happens to be there... I dunno... Logan making Smoothies?)_

_(Kitty looks at Remy triumphantly who shrugs. A new heart appears and the wound closes)_

**Kitty: **How'd you...?

**Remy: **Push Me felt the story was going nowhere... decided to give it a boost. Anyway cheré, seeing as you want Remy to die...

_(Sadly pulls out a revolver and points it at his head)_

**Remy: ... **I will end my life...

_(Walks around a corner and a BANG! is heard.)_

**Kitty: **Remy No! I didn't mean for you to die! Just leave me alone! _(Crying) _I'm sorry!

**Remy: **Don't worry cheré... Remy Miss!

**Kitty: **How?

**Remy:**_(Shrug) _Anyway... you don't want Remy to die?

**Kitty: **No... You're cute, handsome, sweet, funny, charming and**..._(REALISATION) _**Boy! On that bed now!

_(The two begin to make out when the door opens and in walks...Rogue)_

**Rogue: **Remy!

**Remy: **_(Realisation) _Off me woman! _(Pushes Kitty to the floor) _Cheré! Remy swear he thought it was you an'...

**Rogue:** Don't worry sugah, I ain't blamin' you, but there's a cat in this room that's gonna get ''Plucked'' shall we say?

**Kitty: **Rogue, I swear this isn't what it looks like! I swear! I... You... HE came on to me! Put the tweezers down!

_**(And so, asKitty's anguished screams rang into the night**_**_we get a happy ending...)_**

**Jean: **Happy? how can this be happy when a poor girl, a victim of male sexist cheaters is now gettingher hairs plucked?

_(Army of Jamies march on and beat her with objects of all kinds)_

**Push Me: **Thank you...

**Jamie: **OK my people, find Pietro and Wanda for the next scene! Finish off Jean first though!

**_Next up... RoadRunner! My favourite!_**


	4. RoudRunner

**((Straightens tie)) Hello. Hello once more. Finally Hello.**

**Disclaimer: Hello.**

**'Ssup. Half Term YAAAAAYYYYY! Bored writing fanfics. 'Sall good.**

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**Jamie: **Pietro, we've been over this. You have to be RoadRunner because you're fast. Wanda is Wil E. 'cause she hates you.

**Pietro: **Yeah, but does she know where the acting stops? _(Jamie is picking his ear. Not caring) _She might hurt, or possibly kill me! I'm insured by Push Me right?

**Jamie: **_(Flicks the wax off his finger) _Off course you get free cookies I'm not a monster.

**Pietro: **That's not what I said. I asked if...

**Jamie: **Thaaanks! I'd love an ice cream!

**Pietro: **I am going to die...

**RoadRunner**

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_(Camera pans into desert scene with one long, hilly road. We see a cloud of dust approaching, and two shapes amonghst it. As the first shape draws level with the camera, we freeze frame and a label appears at the bottom of the screen._

**PIETRO MAXIMOFF  
_(scaredus of sisterus)_**

_It zooms off and the second shape freeze frames._

**WANDA MAXIMOFF  
_(sedus sisterus)_**

_Wanda slows to a walk as she realises she ain't catchin Pietro and stands thinking. She is hit by an Idea and wanders off cackling)_

_(In the road, Wana has installed a pop-up metal door, which she tests, and works perfectly. She hears the RoadRunner approuching and presses the realese switch... nothing. Pietro zooms off and Wanda curses an walks off.)_

_(Wanda has ordered a pair of rocket skates, and is putting them on, when Pietro whizzes past with the Road Runner  
MEEP! MEEP!  
Replaced with:  
HEY SIS! BYE SIS!_

_She turns on the skates and pursues him through the canyon along a straight road. The road comes to a sharp turn by the edge of a cliff, which Pietro takes but Wanda goes flying off. Of course we get the traditional camera and:_

**_Whhhhheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Poof!)_**

_(We see Wanda sitting on a catapult when Pietro runs by. She Quickly releases it, only for it to throw her flat on her face.)_

_(Wanda buys a superman suit and attempts to fly off a cliff... And fails)_

_(We see a pile of coffee beans in the middle of the road with a ''free coffee sign sticking put of it. There is a huge mass of boulders above it, held up between two cliff faces, and a metal gate. Pietro arrives and begins wolfing down the coffee beans, and wanda releases the gate which opens but...Nothing. Pietro realises a trapb and legs it. By this point Wanda is a little P.O. and jumps under the trap, trying to figure out why it didn't work. She starts poking it with a stick. Realising her stupidity., she tries to run but...)_

_(Wanda is sitting on a catapult again when Pietro zooms past. She releases it, and flies straight up, hits her head on a cliff and falls onto the ground. The cliff breaks off and comes down on top of her. Big Ouchies)_

_(Wanda paints a tunnel onto a cliff face, and Pietro whizzes past and passes through. Bewildered, she attempts to follow. WHAM!)_

_(Wanda creates a giant elasic slingshot between two cactuses. Pietro runs past, and Wanda fires herself. She flies through the air gaining on him and is within grabbing distance, when the pop-up door activates, and is greeted by Wanda's face)_

_(Wanda fires a cannon at Pietro who ducks, the ball hitting the previously made slingshot and bounces back. Pietro dodges. Wanda doesn't.)_

_(Wanda fires another cannon ball ((i.e. Sam Gurthy)) which misses Pietro and is caught by Amara. This is a ''T'' So we'll leave it at that)_

_(Wanda sticks her foot out to trip him up.Yeah Right. Broken Leg)_

_(Wanda paints a line off the edge off the cliff, which Pietro Ignores but Wanda follows)_

_(Wanda chases him on a skateboard and is hit by a truck. WHAT?)_

_(Wanda pretends to be a photographer and offers to take Pietro's picture. The Camera is really a pistol. She is about to take it when..._

**Pietro: **Ahh... Sis, you're the beautful one, let me tak yours!  
**Wanda: **Really? Thanks!

**BANG!**

_(Wanda tenses herself in a springand releasesit as Pietro flies past. She get's tangled in the spring.)_

_(Wanda chases Pietro in a F-1 car and is arrested for speeding. She is fined $80.)_

**_They're gonna get dumb now!_**

_(Wanda chases Pietro over the border and is arrested for hot having a passport)_

_(Wanda tries firing a rock from the catapult. She pulls the release chord and the catapult does a backflip and lands on her)_

_(Wanda is shot by the FBI in a mistaken Identity)_

_(Wanda loses to a rapper in a battle rap, who would have helped her if she won)_

_(Wanda fires a shot gun at Pietro, who ducks. The bullet hit's a cliff which falls on her)_

_(Wanda get's beaten up by the Teen Titans, for being the bad 'Guy?')_

_(Wanda hires Sonic the Hedgehog to catchPietro.Sonic turns out to be a carnivore and, failing to catch Pietro, turns on Wanda)_

_(Wanda is chasing Pietro when she trips over Amara's bra)_

_(Wanda fires a ballistic missile straight up in the air, which doesn't come down)_

_(Wanda picks up a grenade, removes the pin and throws the pin, then places both hands in her ears)_

_(Wanda makes a trapdoor in the road, which remains shut when Pietro runs over it, she follows, and the alligators she placed inside get a nice lunch)_

_(Wanda sets Pyro on Pietro, then finds him 20 minutes later dancing round a burning cactus)_

_(Wanda gives up, and is getting a relatively happy ending walking off into the sunset when the Ballistic missle makes it's re-entrance. The explosion causes mass-distruction, and spells out The End in the sky)_

**Jamie**: Aaaand Cut! That was a good show people, get Bobby, it's time for my starring role. Make Up!

_(He walks off. Wanda appears, battered, bruised, cut, broken, the lot. She sees Pietro walk pastand hexes his feet to the floor.)_

**Push Me**_: (I didn't wanna be left out_!) Well waddaya know? The Cayote caught the RoadRunner after all!

_(Camera pans out to Pietro screaming and crying about how''He'll need those back!''_

**_That was a really fun chapter.C'mon. Review. Next up, Sylvester andTweety, then Tom and Jerry. Both Featuring Jamie and Bobby. :)_**


	5. New Mutants, Jamie, and A twinky, Part 1

**Sylvester and Tweety**

**_Guess who's Back? _Back_ again? Please don't Sue! I'll be your friend!_**

**_PUSH ME is back with a brand new chap, and I don't mean Chap as in a new case of Jamie molesting Accusate...Wait...Yes I Do!_**

**_Just R&R :)_**

* * *

**Jamie: **Ok, Scene ready? Bobby got his props? 

**Scott: **Yes, My Lord. Are you pleased with your props?

**Jamie: **_(Licks lollipop) _Get me a bigger Lolly!

**Scott: **We don't... don't have a bigger Lolly

_(He flinches)_

**Jamie**: Scott... Baby... Don't worry... I'm not gonna get mad... Just make sure it's pineapple then...

**Scott: **Erm... We don't have that either...

_(Jamie clicks his fingers and a squad of multiples marches forward and brutally beats him with pineapple lollies)_

**Jamie:** Huh, it was my fault, maybe Ishould stop them...

_(Witnesses one Jamie pull out Scott's intestine out and devour it)_

**Jamie: **Maybe not...

* * *

_(The camera opens to Jamie, sitting in a steel cage swinging on a swing, noticing the camera he bursts into song)_

**Jamie:**_ I'm a sweet little boy in a steel mesh cage,_

_Jamies my name and I can't count my age._

_I don't have to worry, and that is that,_

_I'm safe in here from those New Mutant prats!_

_(Bobby, Ray and Sam tiptoe towards the cage, trying to batter and bruise Jamie without Logan or the girls going to town on them)_

**Bobby:** _(Looks to camera) _Good thing to. Amara says she's gonna aim a little lower with the golf club next time!

**Sam: **That women is CRAZY!

**Ray: **I'm running out of vital organs!

**Remy: **YEAH!

_(The three turn to look at Remy, dressed in Ducky PJs and holding a toothbrush)_

**Ray: **What are you doing here?

**Remy: **What am I doing here? I live here! What are you doing here?

**Bobby: **We...uh... SHUT UP!

**Sam: **Yeah, get out!

**Remy: **You can't tell Remy to get out his own house! The council can't so I'll be damned if I let you!

_(Bobby sighs, walking forward and picking up a stick ((What? Didn't expect a sick inside?)) Showing it to Remy)_

**Bobby: **Remy? See the stick?

**Remy: **Yeah Bobby, Remy sees it! He sees the stick!

**Bobby: **Really? You wan't the stick Remy? You wannit?

**Remy: **Remy want the stick! Give it to him! Give it to him now! Along with a helicopter, a $1,000 and an oompa loompa!

**Bobby: **Fetch the stick Remy! _(Throws it towards the window)_

**Remy: **RRREEEEEEEEMMMMMMYYYYYYY!

_(He jumps out the window after it, narrowly avoiding a container full of glass bottles, and a manure truck)_

**Remy: **Wow it gotta be his lucky day!

_(Both objects fall on him, spilling their contents. There were no survivors...)_

* * *

_(Jamie is still singing, when he notices Bobby stick his head round to the cage)_

**Jamie: **I thought I saw a NewMutant!

_(Sam and Ray follow Bobby's example, glowering at Jamie)_

**Jamie:** I did! I did see a New Mutant!

_(The trio pull a crowbar from wherever the hell toons get this stuff, and proceed to wrench the cage door with it)_

**Jamie: **You'll never get through with that!

**Bobby: **He's right, there has to be an easier way...

**Ray: **Easier that a crowbar?

**Sam: **Is that possible...

_(The three look together at the ceiling, pondering this, before Bobby shakes his head and remebers the situation)_

**Bobby: **I have it! No... wait... Yes...No... Maybe...Wait... YES!

**Ray: **What?

_(Bobby steps forward and ices the cage bars, then shoves his fist through, shattering12 bars)_

**Jamie: **Now that is what I call 12 bar blues... _(Rimshot)_

_(Bobby steps through, bandishing a molted Iron bar)_

**Bobby: **You guys got the special stuff?

**Ray: **What's so special about toy lightsabers?

**Bobby: **They sting like hell, and don't leave a mark... Perfect weapons...

**Jamie:**Won't the smoldering iron do damage enought to show Amara?

**Bobby: **Not where we're gonna shove it...

**Jamie: **>Gulp

_(He points over Bobby's shoulder at Ray, who stares at him confused)_

**Jamie: **It's Ok Me number 564098, stop pretending to be Ray now...

**Ray: **Wha...?

**Jamie: **The plan failed, you can stop now...

**Ray: **Wht are you talking about?

_(Notices the glowering looks Sam and Bobby are giving him)_

**Ray: **You don't believe _him_? He can't copy other people!

**Bobby: **That's what a clone would say!

**Sam: **Die, Heathen!

_(The two proceed to pound Ray, Jamie slipping away unnoticed. A loud scream told him they used the Iron)

* * *

_

**Bobby: **Sorry Ray... Can't believe we fell for that...

**Ray: **Oh don't worry... You'll pay with your lives...

**Bobby: **There see? I knew you'd forgive us...

**Sam: **Didn't you hear him? He said he's gonna beat us with a rubber duck till we bleed and die!

**Bobby: **Thanks! I would love a twinky about now... Oh precious snack cake...giver of life...Let's never fight again...

**Sam: **Are you hugging that Twinky?

**Bobby: **Uh... No

**Sam: ok...**

**Bobby: **_Swish!_

**Bobby: **There he is...

_(Points at Jamie... standing next to Amara)_

**Sam: **Damn, we can't get him now... Bobby, Ray, let's reschedule... BOBBY NO!

**Bobby: **Oh Lord, please guide this twinky,and all those relying on the twinky,and may it come to rest upon the skull of th Madrox... AMEN!

_(He lugs a twinky at Jamie, just as Amara bends over him to hug him. There's a sickening thud, and Amara goes down. Twinkys...Taste so good... Deadly when in the wrong hands...)_

_(Cut to annoying slow motion Death scene)_

**Jamie: **NNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

**Sam: **AAAAAAAMMMMMMMMAAAAAARRRRRRRAAAAAA!

**Ray: **SSSSSHHHHHHHIIIIIIITTTTTTT!

**Bobby: **TTTTTTTTWWWWWWWWWIIIIIIIINNNNNKKKKKYYYYYYY!

**All: **NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

**TO BE CONTINUED...**


End file.
